Challenge 2 - Connecting to your Passion
Connecting to the Calling
 
I feel like I am experiencing a calling to do something more – something different – but I don't know what it is yet.
 
Connecting to the calling allows you to experience your passion. I met a man who started a business but ran out of money and returned to a corporate job. About eight months later, he called to say that the desire to be an entrepreneur just wouldn't let him go. So this time he had a new idea and entered the new business with money from investors. He talked about his “calling” to be an entrepreneur. He became aware of a need to connect to the calling so that he could become an entrepreneur. We talked about how connecting to the calling is the connection to passion.

Becoming an entrepreneur requires an incredible amount of passion. We need to connect to this passion – this calling – in order to transition into entrepreneurship. This step on the path is really quite simple; it is recognizing that you have a passion for something greater than what you are experiencing. It is acknowledging and connecting with your passion – that part of you that wants to express itself. You may have always had a calling to be a poet, an artist, or a retail storeowner. Or you may not know what it is you would like to do; just that you want to do something other than what you are doing. The clarity may be buried underneath other issues and you can't see it yet, it's just a feeling. More will be revealed; you do not need to know the entire path or journey right now. The goal here is to simply connect to the calling.

This calling may surface when you feel specific emotions. I worked with a client whose passion came through frustration. He came in for counseling because of the frustration he was experiencing in growing his business. We worked together for several months developing new marketing strategies and helping him pave a way for his business progress. I saw more frustration than happiness in his business pursuit. After several months of seeing him experience the same frustration, I asked him, "What
do you really want to be doing?” He responded immediately: “I want to live and work in Spain.” He said that for six years he'd wanted to live this dream, but was too afraid. He lived at home and was held back by his fears and his family's fears for him.
We spent the rest of the session creating tools he could use to help him connect with his passion and live his dream. We discussed meditation, positive thinking, affirmations and prayer.

About two months after this meeting, he came back for another appointment. He shared that he was going to Spain. He booked his airline tickets and had ten interviews lined up when he got there. He planned to get a job to acclimate himself before becoming self-employed again. It took him six years to acknowledge what he wanted to do and three months to connect to his passion and start doing it.

Say yes to your calling! Allow it to come forth. You may feel resistance; expect it. You may feel fear; feel it. Your feelings are important and valid. The emotions you have are normal; they have served in keeping this part of you quiet. The man who moved overseas didn't think it was possible, but once he acknowledged his calling, things began to work for him. Acknowledging your calling doesn't mean that you need to change everything overnight. It simply means you take the first step on the path and claim that part of you that allows the journey to begin.
 
What are you being called to do? What is your yearning? What do you really want to be doing that you are not doing?
 
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If you do not know what your yearning is, write what this yearning feels like. If you are not sure, then describe how you would like to feel. Where is this desire coming from, what is it connected to? What do you want to feel that you are not feeling? Write about this as much as you need to. This is a good time to use your journal to let your feelings out. When you acknowledge your feelings, you acknowledge your calling – even if you do not know yet what your calling is. Write down the feelings that you want to feel.
 
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How long have you had this desire? These feelings? Write about it. Remember, your feelings are valid.
 
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What has been stopping you from putting this yearning into action? Connect with whatever has been stopping you. When you connect with what is stopping you, you connect to the calling. Write down why you are not doing what you would like to be doing. Remember, you are not alone.
 
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I acknowledge and accept all of me.
 
Challenge 3 - Developing your Mind, Body and Spirit
Examine Your Beliefs
 
I need to go back – way back – to seek out my old beliefs and rewrite them so they work for me instead of against me.
 
Beliefs are what we believe about our circumstances or ourselves. Beliefs are typically unconscious thoughts that lay the foundation for our lives. They are the basis for how we live, how we act and how we function in the world. Beliefs can work for us or against us. Often, we do not recognize which beliefs work against us until an issue arises where we see a pattern and begin to ask ourselves what belief we have that consistently brings a particular circumstance into our lives. For example, sometimes people have a belief that life is really very difficult and so they unconsciously create situations that reinforce that belief. Our beliefs can affect our personal and professional lives. That same belief of thinking that life is difficult may translate in our professional lives to attracting clients who won't pay us or who mistreat us. How we are treated can often be reflected in what we believe we deserve or how we believe we should be treated.

Examining beliefs, seeing what they are and changing them, if necessary – is essential for a healthy life and entrepreneurial journey. Many clients have old beliefs that need to be changed. Often, these beliefs are about money. Old beliefs about money can seriously affect a business without your even being aware of how they impact you.

You may have always heard from your parents that a desire for money meant you were greedy or bad. Rosemary grew up believing that having money was bad. Some of the messages she shared after reflecting on this issue and writing down her thoughts were, “Money leads to evil,” “Rich people lie,” “Money will make me greedy.” Rosemary had a difficult time recognizing her beliefs because they were the only beliefs about money that she had ever known. She never thought of challenging them or evaluating them because they were part of her.

So, how do you get in touch with your beliefs? The first step is to write down thoughts and reflect on areas that seem to be patterns in your life. Mike did this exercise and saw that he had a lot of trouble with his beliefs about money. He didn't understand why he continually had financial struggles. He was intelligent and a smart businessman but he wasn't able to make a living without struggling. He began to ask himself why he had these challenges. What was the problem? Why couldn't he seem to move beyond these challenges? Soon he discovered the root of his financial challenge – his beliefs. He realized that he grew up with negative messages about money. These negative beliefs about money affected his ability to enjoy a prosperous life and caused him to live with constant financial struggles.

Know that your old beliefs may not come to you automatically. Sometimes an old belief will come to your consciousness when you see that you have repeated a pattern or a behavior that you did not want to repeat. It is at this time that you can stimulate it to consciousness and then decide if that particular belief serves you or not.

This experience of identifying your beliefs can bring up many feelings. Feeling your feelings is an important part of this exercise. When you feel your feelings, especially uncomfortable ones, you are identifying your beliefs. It is when we can identify them that we can choose to change them. The following steps will help you raise your beliefs to a conscious level and identify them. You may want to use your journal to write down your experiences.

Challenge 4 - Overcoming the Obstacles
No More Excuses
 
I know I am a single mother. I know that I provide the only income to my family. But is that just an excuse, a reason not to pursue my dream? Not anymore. I owe it to myself to at least try – to give it my all. If things don't work out, I can always go back and get another job.
 
Excuses are so convenient. “I have too much going on right now.” “I don't know what I really want to do.” “I've done this job for 20 years.” These are just a few of the excuses I've heard. Oddly enough, none of the people who used these excuses ventured away from them. They still use them to stay far from entrepreneurship.
 
What excuses have you been telling yourself? For example, I would tell myself that I needed to save more money before I could start a business or that my children were too young.
 
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Are your excuses true or false? Why?
 
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What action will you take to eliminate your excuses? For example, if one of your excuses is that you haven't done anything because you don't know what you'd really want to do, then you can journal to learn more about your likes and dislikes, start reading books on business ideas, start attending small business
seminars to get ideas . Write down the actions you will take to break through your excuses.
 
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I no longer make excuses.
 
CHALLENGE 5 - Breaking Through the Fears
What Are You Afraid Of?
 
I can't believe how much fear I had to work through to get here. Fear of lots! Fear of running out of money, fear of failure, what ifs, out-of-control fears and thoughts. I feel like I've worked through these fears – cleaned out those “closets” per se – and prepared myself for the next step.
 
I was more frightened than ever before as I transitioned into entrepreneurship. I was stuck in fear. I couldn't deny it and I didn't know how to deal with it. My fears seemed so real, so big and so unsurpassable. They kept me in my present circumstance – in a job that I didn't want to be in. I remember feeling and saying that this transition into entrepreneurship was more difficult than anything I ever experienced in my life, including getting a divorce, which I had experienced a few years prior. I was shocked, really, that my fear was so great and equally shocked that with all the books out there about starting a business, none of them addressed what I was going through emotionally.

I experienced my greatest fear at the most difficult time – when I made the decision to quit my job but had to still work there while saving the money I'd need to begin my entrepreneurial journey. Though I had not yet told anyone I was planning to leave, I knew I was leaving.

I needed a new approach to deal with my fear. One day while sitting in my meditation area and feeling scary feelings, I decided to make a list of my fears. I took a hard look at my fears, particularly as they pertained to transitioning into entrepreneurship. I started by simply writing at the top of the page, “What am I afraid of?” I listed my fears. One-by-one they were revealed; they were on paper now so I couldn't deny them anymore.
What I discovered from putting my fears in writing was that fear of not having/making enough money, which I thought was my No. 1 fear, was actually not what I was most afraid of.

My No. 1 fear was actually the fear of the unknown – not knowing what was going to happen when I left my job. The security and comfort of bringing home a regular paycheck was so familiar and comfortable that the thought of not having a paycheck was nearly inconceivable.

Once I knew that the fear of the unknown was my biggest challenge, I began to talk about it with people who supported me in my journey into entrepreneurship. Laura, a woman I admired and who was successful making this transition into entrepreneurship, listened to my fears and offered her experience and support. I began to change my attitude toward the unknown by accepting it as part of the journey. I began to see the unknown as a positive aspect of my life rather than something to be feared.

The second fear on my list was one that embarrassed me – it was the fear of being or going crazy. How could I talk to someone about that? I wanted to deny this fear, but denying it wasn't going to work, I knew that. So I was willing, once again, to talk about and challenge this fear with my supportive friends. This fear was very challenging to confront. Sometimes I thought the idea of starting my own business might just be a crazy idea. I questioned myself, “Was I crazy for even thinking about leaving a good job and starting a business? Was I crazy for thinking about going into business for myself while raising two children on my own?” I was just going to have to find out.

The problem with this fear was that I wasn't sure if it was true or not. I felt depressed much of the time staying in a job I didn't want. Here I was wondering why I was depressed and why my emotions were erratic when I was not being true to myself. I realized that I spent more than 40 hours a week doing something I didn't want to do, but pretending that I did and telling myself that I must like this job because I was good at it. By confronting this fear, I came to the conclusion that the only reason I was still working at that job was to get a paycheck, and that was not a good enough reason anymore.

Those were my two biggest fears – the fear of the unknown and the fear of going or being crazy. Surprisingly, money was third. I challenged this fear by saving money before leaving my job. I set a goal to save the equivalent of six months living expenses and set a date upon which I would leave my job. I circled the date in my calendar and drew stars and balloons to signify my freedom.

Being afraid wasn't going to be enough to hold me back anymore. The experience of dealing with my fears was greatly lessened by listing and then challenging each one. This process helped me break through my fears and continue moving toward entrepreneurship.
The exercise below helped me break down each fear and essentially dissolve it. I got to see each fear for what it was. Fear was no longer something to be afraid of but rather an opportunity to become a stronger person, to get to know myself better and to accomplish what I knew I could accomplish.
 
What scares you about where you are on your entrepreneurial journey? Make a list. Do not judge your fears, just write them down.
 
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Challenge 6 - Letting Go of the Comfort Zone
Trading Security for “Uncertainty”
 
It was worth trading my security and unhappiness for uncertainty and aliveness.
 
We are stripped of the “corporate cover” as the veil of security in our jobs is lifted and we come face-to face with ourselves – our faith and belief in who we are. We see ourselves and feel our vulnerability and for many of us, it is a completely new experience. This ability to face ourselves is the greatest challenge and the greatest opportunity we have in entrepreneurship. How do we do this? We learn to have faith in uncertainty and in the unknown. We find security within ourselves instead of outside ourselves. The idea of security we get from a job can be an illusion. If we think we are secure in our job, then we don't confront uncertainty.

For me, feeling uncertainty and being OK with it took me a long time to understand. I'd ask myself, “Why is uncertainty so difficult for me?” I got the answer – even though it was an answer I didn't like. I didn't have faith in myself. I lacked a
belief in myself, had little self-esteem and didn't feel secure within myself. Wow! What a blow to my ego. But it was true. And once my truth was revealed to me, I could begin to do something about it. The irony of this revelation was that I saw myself as self-assured and good at what I did. What I realized was that I borrowed “security” from my employers; it was on loan to me. The security that I felt when I worked at a job was never mine. It was not at the root or core of my being, where it needed to be. I hadn't yet developed these qualities within myself.

The awareness that I was borrowing my sense of self from my employer was monumental in terms of understanding why I had such a hard time leaving my job. I recognized and accepted that I lacked a sense of security in who I was. This acceptance brought an understanding as to why I went back to school for all those degrees – and sought higher-paying jobs and promotions. The better I got at my job, the more security I needed, so it was a vicious cycle that I didn't even realize I was in until I tried to get out.

As you choose to experience uncertainty, you are transformed merely through the experience of choosing the unknown path. The unknown path is actually the journey to one's core or soul. Clients develop faith in themselves and discover who they truly are through this experience. They begin to have a new level of living and freedom.
Each person's set of securities is unique. For some, it is salary, hours, perks, 401(k) programs and insurance. For others, it is the less tangible things such as familiarity and predictability. Whatever it is, it is important to recognize what makes us feel secure, so that we can at least be aware of our feelings when we let go of this security. We can make it through this phase. Even though I have felt uncomfortable through many “growth spurts,” the most uncomfortable time was leaving the security of my job and making my initial transition into entrepreneurship.
 
Describe what makes you feel secure about being an employee. For example, I felt secure with a salary I could depend on each week, quick results from my hard work, job satisfaction, knowing that I had a place to go every week, and being recognized for a job well done.
 
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What is motivating you to let go of these securities and make the transition into entrepreneurship? What motivated me was the passion I felt to be my own boss. I didn't act on this passion until I was uncomfortable in my work situation. Write your motivation for leaving your job and transitioning into entrepreneurship.
 
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Challenge 7 - Before the Money Flows
Trusting Yourself and the Process
 
The answer is to trust myself and trust the process. I tried trusting money, that didn't work. I tried trusting success, that didn't work either. I need to trust myself and the process before either money or success can come to me.
 
Trust is at the core of experiencing the success we desire. This core or foundation is built on trusting ourselves and trusting the process. The pace of our progress, especially before the money flows, depends on developing this level of trust in ourselves and in the overall process – in the overall order of things. You may ask, “How do I simply trust the process when I don't know where I am going?” The answer is to know and trust that wherever you are being led is for your highest good. When we believe that what is happening in our lives is for our highest good, we can trust ourselves and trust the process.

Trusting can be difficult. In order to trust, we need to let go of control. We need to let go of the way we think things are supposed to work out. We usually don't think that we need to let go of control until we have reached a point in our lives when our way, the way we think things should be, doesn't work. It is at this point that we have a choice. We can either let go of control and start trusting or we can try to control our lives even more. We may try to control our lives more by working more, working harder or forcing a solution to a problem. I chose to control and probably suffered mental strain unnecessarily because I didn't want to let go of control. Letting go of control and learning to trust myself and the process was extremely difficult for me. But I did it, not because I wanted to, but because my way wasn't working. It wasn't creating the results I desired in my life. It took me a long time to let go of control and trust.

Most clients who were challenged financially, mentally or on some other level, came in for business counseling either because they, too, needed to let go of control or because they stopped trusting. Their way wasn't working. They got scared, which is a normal response when our way isn't working or we stop trusting. The problem is that when we stop trusting, we stop moving forward. Everything in our lives, including the money that we want to flow to us, is on “hold.” Money cannot flow to us when we do not trust that it will flow to us. We need to work through whatever feeling or emotion stopped us from trusting in the first place and begin trusting again.

How do we learn to trust? We learn to trust by making the decision to trust. Lack of trust is why most people choose not to make the journey into entrepreneurship, or to turn back and not complete the journey. We choose to trust ourselves and the process. We then take appropriate actions that reflect that trust. Several years ago, I knew it was time to let go of my office space, move back to my home office and accept a long-term contract with the Small Business Development Center to counsel clients. I didn't understand “why” I needed to do this; I just knew and trusted that it was what I needed to do. I took action that reflected this trust by moving out of my office space and accepting the contract. I knew it was right for me, even though I could not justify it and could not completely explain or understand it. I just trusted it. Years later, I understand the role that contract had in my life. It gave me the experience to write this book. We learn to trust.

Once we begin to trust ourselves, we can begin to trust the process and the journey we are on. When we trust ourselves, we trust the process. Another way to trust is to realize that we've earned the right to trust. We earn trust when we give ourselves credit for the work we've done to get to this point in our personal and professional lives. We didn't get here by accident. We worked on ourselves to get here. We became brave, we learned to listen to ourselves, to change, develop our uniqueness, persevere, strengthen ourselves and have faith. We earned the right to trust.

The same principles apply in learning to trust ourselves and the process as in maintaining this level of trust. We can increase our trust by respecting and acknowledging ourselves and recognizing our value as a person. Once we maintain a level of trust in ourselves and in the process, we need to continue to grow personally and professionally. We do this by continuing to improve ourselves and letting go of whatever is not working in our lives.
 
Are you trying to control the process or do you trust the process?
One way to know if you are controlling or trusting is by examining your thoughts and feelings. For example, when I am trying to control the process I get uptight, start worrying and feel fearful about my future. When I trust the process I feel focused, enjoy each day and feel positive about my future.
 
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Are you willing to let go of control and trust the process? What do you need to let go of so you can start trusting? For example, I needed to let go of controlling the way I wanted my future to unfold and learn to trust that it would unfold for my highest good.

Describe what you need to let go of so you can start trusting.
 
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Contact Suzanne Mulvehill, MBA, Executive Director of the Emotional Endurance Institute
at (561) 202-9051 or email suzanne@emotionalendurance.com for more information.